Day447: Penetration


Last night, Jeannette was penetrated. 

Sadly, I was not the perpetrator. Instead, while I was in on the bed with Blaze, getting him to sleep while waiting for her to get ready for bed, I heard the very panicked calling of my name by Jeannette followed by the disgusted cry of "There's a tick in me!" Well I moved about as fast as I could, trying to keep Blaze from becoming too alarmed, and yet knowing that if I didn't respond quickly she would begin place C4 explosives all over the mountain, starting with our bathroom. By the time I got there I saw Jeannette, in all her pregnant glory, pointing at a dark spot on her bikini line of all places. 

Having been assaulted by the night by a cowardly cousin of the tick in question, in just such a sensitive area as this, I was more than impressed by just how well she had it together. She wasn't happy, I can say that with confidence, and I could tell she was fighting back the urge to scream and flip out, perhaps take a blunt curling iron to her own groin, but she was keeping it together nicely. We didn't have tweezers on site so I had to run downstairs with Blaze in tow to get the ones I've taken to using with Hubble. Funny that, we have tick 'tools' you can use but now that I'm so expert in taking them out without breaking their head off and leaving the dirty proboscis inside the skin, I just roll with an old school pair of tweezers these days; like a boss. 

It was imbedded but not deeply. As I plucked it out, taking a couple attempts as I wanted to make sure I didn't squeeze to hard and cause it to barf any nastiness in her leg... BLECH!! ...she told me it was the one time she hasn't checked a pair of pants before putting them on. We had my cousin here babysitting, and there were a million and one distractions, and as a result she'd just put the pants on. And she got a tick in her. Terrible!! 

I spent the better part of the next half hour calming her down and trying to put the bite into perspective, knowing full well that I am equally grossed out by the idea of having one of those things docked to my station in any way. That disgust and fear was tripled the other night when my brother in law made the recommendation that we "don't forget to check your ass cracks before bed..." his words, not mine, though despite their authorship they have haunted me ever since. And check we have been!

And yet still we suffered the terrible blow to our defences last night when the matriarch was penetrated. 

It's been a veritable strip show here ever since. Every five minutes one of us is dropping our pants exclaiming, "do you see anything on me?!?" Poor Blaze is forced to try to focus on the development of his motor skills with distractions such as these happening around him constantly, not to mention a thorough pat down every time we change him. We're on high alert after the penetration, though somehow, the world didn't end and Jeannette managed to survive. 

That was one of the things I came up with last night when trying to calm her down, and keep from showing signs of wanting to vomit myself... "it's a lot like a mosquito bite babe, they suck your blood and can give you horrible illnesses, but they're more mainstream so we're used to them." Though they rarely attach themselves to your crotch. I didn't add that for obvious reasons.

I also assured her that according to all the information we've gathered, there's no worry of infection from lime disease or anything like that unless it's attached for a considerably longer amount of time than we're dealing with here. 48 hours or so I think... Still, we're not pleased with this turn of events and have increased the threat level to orange. Not quite barring the doors and windows and barricading ourselves in the storm cellars, but a thorough check of ourselves and our clothes is now required throughout the day. 

As a result of the general tumult caused by the attack last night, none of us slept particularly well. The reason I didn't sleep was because I went to bed too late. I'd checked the bed as well as I could have and was reasonable certain I was safe myself so that wasn't my issue. No doubt Jeannette's issue was more specifically tick related but there was also the issue with Blaze getting up three times throughout the night to eat. Weirdness. I'm convinced they just kept each other up due to the paranoia of the event. 

The day was pretty much a write off from the get go. I think my late night work sessions and then early morning calls are affecting my health as well, as I haven't been feeling the greatest today either. It's also still raining and pretty cold and dreary out. As such it was the perfect storm of laziness so we dutifully just hung out with the boy, watched a lot of Dateline and napped. But hey, I got a bunch of work done on my Sunday so it's no great disappointment. 

In the end Jeannette took it like a champ and we move onward and upward putting things in perspective as best we can as we go. That's really all you can do. No one got kidnapped by Boko Haram, no one got Ebola, or bitten by a red back spider, it was nothing more than a devilish little parasite that got into her pants and tried to suck her blood...

Okay yeah it's still a bad one.