Day 547: MacKinley Zena MacDonald
I had a baby girl this morning. Well.. last morning, I suppose, given the fact it is currently 2:12am on the 10th and she was born yesterday morning, the 9th, at 1:33am. As a result, things will now change rather drastically, in life, for me. I can't speak for you of course, and no longer will, but for me this occasion has quite drastically altered my perception of things.
A baby girl... oh boy.
MacKinley Zena MacDonald; the first name being a name well liked by her parents, the second being the favourite Lebanese/Arabic name of her grandmother, and the last being the surname of my father and the generations of Scotts before him; stout, salt of the earth people, all of them.. mixed in with a little bit of Irish just to show that at one time the two peoples actually got along long enough to procreate.
MacDonald, not Malone, if I haven't been clear before. My two given names being Robert & Scott.
MacDonald.. in case your mind drifted. It happens... in fact it's happening to me right now. But then I just had a baby girl, and am exhausted.
I'll get to the whole shotgun deliver event at some future point, perhaps tomorrow, because tonight's entry is more of a mission statement... if I can properly interpret what seems to be coming out of me so soon after watching my BABY GIRL POP INTO EXISTENCE. A mission statement that has been developing for a while, no doubt, but one that I suppose needed a good cosmic kick in the pants to really get off the ground.. and that happened yesterday.
You see, Blaze I got from the get go.
My reaction to having a boy was about what you'd expect. I'm good with him. Blaze is a boy, my boy, and if he's anything like his dad he'll go out in life and get up to a bunch of shenanigans along the way, but his journey, ultimately, will be an inward one. I've taken two cracks at that journey myself; the first being from about the age of 13 to about the age of 17, when all I did was talk about gOd and discuss philosophy -that went no where- and then, well, now.
My reaction to Blaze was simply the desire to be a better man.
My reaction to MacKinley is the desire to help make a better world.
As to the inner path I'm on, I'm quite fixed in place this time around and am certain it will be taking me all the way to the end. I can say that with confidence because I know now what the end entails, what the goal of life is, and the only possible step one can take toward getting there. I know it like I know I can write a joke or craft a sentence or pour a glass of water. Why? Because I have direct experience. And you can't take away the knowledge that comes from direct experience, and the self-assured confidence it brings one.
But we'll get there. There's no need to go guns blazing right out of the gate. I promised little MacKinley that I would open up on the blog from now on and start writing with purpose, not just about our day but the things I've learned and how it has shaped the direction I'm now headed in. We can certainly warm up to things first. It's only prudent. And as I say, I'm exhausted!!
What's going to change, for us, dear reader, is that I'm going to be much more vocal about all the things I believe in now. Don't worry, it's not going to be in a particularly in your face style. No good comes in taking that route I find, in conversation, blogging, politics, or anything else. Nah, instead, I've simply promised that I would tell my story. That's it. Quite simple really. The first part of that will be tapping out the events of my life as I recall them, and they relate to something whatever day I write about, so that you can get to know me a little better.
I do this for no other reason than I will also be pitching you an idea starting, well, now, and it's better if you know something about the person pitching the idea, so that you can better weigh whether or not it might be something you choose to help out with. Savvy?
The idea will be the second part of this little promise I've made; the outline and organization of it being the main focus of my life for the foreseeable future. It's time to just let it out and go with it and I have my daughter to thank for my ability to now do that. I have to do that. It's time. The daily events will continue to roll out as per usual, though again, I feel they might take on a slightly different tone. You may not even notice it, but things have certainly changed for me.
I have a little girl to make the world a better place for, simple as that. It will be an undertaking that will take place one step at a time, but trust me when I tell you, the inciting incident to spark that undertaking just happened this morning at 1:33am when a tiny version of myself and the woman I love came sliding out into existence. Two, from whence there had been only one. If that doesn't blow your mind and set you on the right path I don't know what will.
A baby girl.
I must sleep now. But trust me when I tell you that we will be talking about this much more over the coming weeks and months. Robert Scott MacDonald, with all the skills and abilities of one Jay (no middle name) Malone, will be focusing all effort and time on this project, and garnering support and excitement for it. And it will start...