Day 544: Bring Me Your Horse!

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Still no baby!!!

Perhaps I've been duped and this whole time Jeannette hasn't even been pregnant! Imagine! What a job she did drinking all that beer when I wasn't looking. The gut she has accumulated over the past nine months and TWO DAYS really is staggering. You'd never guess it was a vast accumulation of Corona and not the baby she claims is in there. 

I tell you I'm questioning it! It would make far more sense that she's been lying about it this whole time than I was somehow wrong in my September 5th prediction. I just can't believe I'd be wrong about it in the first place, let alone what is now turning into a full TWO DAYS wrong. Inconceivable. Unthinkable. Preposterous..able. 

Listen, if it is true and she is expecting our second child after all ... well first off I should rapidly apologize for the above bit of doubt. That would be the first move to make. But secondly, at least I can safely say that I've done everything I can to help her out. They say coitus helps with the process, that a bit of the ol' hanky panky gets the ol' baby ball a rollin' down the ol' pipe, if you know what I'm saying, so I threw down the gauntlet last night, switched out the lights, and gave that pregnant belly a good ol' fashioned roll in the hay.

Literally, we had hay driven in because we heard it helped. Something to do with farm animals. 

Nothing! 

Then today, against what is considered wise by nearly everyone, we took a walk down to the beach. 103 steps down to the water! She did every one and then back up again. When my sister came by to visit with all her boys when we got back she told me my father was a little incensed about the whole affair. I suppose taking a massively pregnant woman down to a place with literally no escape but that one staircase up would be considered a tad dangerous to most people, but I guess you just had to be here. There was no way she was going into labour. It seems clear to all of us now.

She still isn't feeling anything after all that, other than the ol' diarrhoea, and my sister said she looks great; hardly like a woman who's ready to pop. I know she's getting frustrated, and not just because she complains about it every twenty four seconds, but because she wants the baby to come out soon so that her mom will be able to spend a lot of time with her.. or him. I tried to point out earlier that perhaps this should be looked at as Blaze's time with his Sitto, that once the baby comes she'll be busy helping with the new little one and as such won't have the ability to shower him with all her attention. So he's been lapping it up and having a ball. 

It's all perspective. 

Let's see, what else. ... oh, I tried a kind of yoga warm up today via YouTube. The session I did was one that pops up when you punch Krya Yoga into YouTube, and yes, I know I'm spelling that wrong, but I did in the search as well and it came up anyway. It was a series of 39 energization poses created by the author of that book I read and wrote about a while back, Autobiography of a Yogi. The teacher leading the session was a student of Paramahansa Yogananda himself. It was a little clunky to get into as it was mostly drawing the conscious awareness into all the various parts of the body, flexing and relaxing and whatnot, but I quite liked it. 

It's a far cry from having an actual guru, but for now, given my geography and situation, it's all I've got!

I dug into some more work this afternoon but don't feel like I accomplished a whole lot. The day seems to have flown by to be honest. It's already 8:30 and I've just been informed that I have to go downstairs and pick up grand master Blaze and put him to bed. He's currently passed out on his aforementioned grandmother as I write this, lucky devil. 

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Oh, one quick story before I go. So Sitto spends a lot of time playing with Blaze, as I mentioned, and always very patiently describes all of his toys to him and tells him what everything means and is named. His current favourite toy is this farm that she bought him for Christmas, it's for 3and up but whatever, all the pieces are big enough that he won't choke so we opened it up for him. Screw the limitations put on our kids by Fisher Price! So today while we were in the kitchen eating breakfast Blaze was standing in the living room, up against the gate, looking in at us all pissed off that no one was playing with him.

Sitto then turns to him and says, "Blaze, go get your horsey"; this little horse from his farm set; one of a dozen or so pieces. He listens to her and then drops down and crawls off. I literally said, "Okay, if he brings that horse back right now I'm going to..." I didn't even get the words out before he re-materializes offering the horse over the gate for his Sitto.

The kid is a wizard. 

If only he had a spell to make his little sister show up. 

Nite munks,
Maybe I'll have news tomorrow!

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