Day 485: The Technological Revolution Continues


We went in to the doctor today for a baby check up. Not Blaze, mind you, but the new one. All tests run had positive results.. not that we're not overwhelmed by 'positive' results already, though these are much better than any negative ones you'd want to hear at the doctor's office. Despite the gestational diabetes label she's completely healthy and the baby isn't looking like it'll be anything close to the 40 pound behemoth the dietician seemed to imply. We'll do an ultrasound to check everything out in a few weeks but otherwise we were told to just keep doing whatever it is we're doing. 

We told him our own theory about how to determine the sex of the baby, judging the relative selfishness of the pregnant woman in question, and he laughed and told us he thought it was much better than any other theories he'd heard, mostly involving high blood pressure and such. 

As we were leaving I'd thought it was probably a good time to call my grandfather to check in on him; we hadn't talked to him while away nor since we'd been back. As though by telepathy when I opened my phone up I saw that I'd missed a call from him about an hour previous. Assuming he was calling to do the same, check in with us, I immediately called him back as we were only about two minutes away from his place. The first thing he said to me was the following: "Yeah, I've got this IPad thingy here and I wondered if you wanted to maybe have a look at it." 

I told him I'd be right over, with Jeannette laughing at us in the seat next to me, and we arrived literally about two minutes later. Turns out it wasn't an iPad issue at all, instead he'd gotten a pamphlet from a kiosk in the mall about a new cell phone deal. No contract. $50 iPhone. Slightly more money a month than what he's paying now but he said he'd happily pay it to get away from Eastlink.

They're STILL giving him trouble over the last iPhone fiasco where he bought a dud and they wouldn't take it back because he'd gone 'over' the allotted minutes... the overage being on account of the fact he was constantly on with customer support over some failure on their part. 

He wanted to know my opinion on the deal before he pulled the trigger. 

Now.. I know my grandfather didn't like the iPhone when he had it last time -he thought the screen was a bit small- but I also know that the phone itself was a dud, as I said, and that a lot of his frustrations with it were because of that. I also know that his biggest issue is that he can't download anything and show his companion when they get together at her place. This drives him crazy. It was the whole point of getting the new phone the first time around.

Still, not wanting him to get into a situation that was going to annoy the hell out of him, like last time, I wondered if there might not be a better solution. 

I suggested the option of upgrading his current iPad, a few years old, to a new one that has a data plan. That way no matter where he was he'd be able to download whatever he wanted while at the same time keeping the flip phone he loves so much, circa 1976, and not have to worry about contracts or any other phone nonsense. It was just an idea, call it a shot in the dark to avoid any future phone altercations with a thoroughly outmatched IT employee. He didn't seem very interested in that idea however, so by the time we'd left we gave him all the advice we could think of and asked when he was thinking of getting it. 

"Oh, probably this afternoon."

The 94 year old man waits for nothing. Perhaps he's the wisest of all of us.  

When we got home it wasn't an hour before the phone rang.
"Okay I've got the phone in my hand and it's saying it wants me to sign in.. now what?"
"Well have you signed in?"
"No. What's my password?"

Five minutes later we were no closer to having it setup than when it had been in the box on the shelf in the store, and I was being reminded of the time I called my dad to try to explain to me how to tie a tie over the phone; add to that difficulty the fact he is left handed. I shouldn't have to tell you that when I showed up for work that day my boss told me the tie was much too short and to go fix it. Not knowing how to go about 'fixing it' but knowing I had to do something, I stopped a security guard at the Toronto Convention centre and meekly asked him if he could tie it for me. He never said a word to me, just wordlessly took the tie, tied it around his neck and handed it back to me, all the while looking as if to say, "how the hell have you made it this long without knowing how to do this.."

Having not been prepared to walk anyone through the setup of an iPhone at that moment, and while he was complaining about how small the screen was for his thumbs.. I told him that I'd try to see what I could do about going in tomorrow to help him get it all set up. Unfortunately I then found out that Jeannette is taking the car out for the day with Blaze and Amy, so it might even have to wait till Saturday. I only hope by then he hasn't taken the phone back to the mall and smashed it on the floor in front of the guy who sold it to him. Not his style at all, you understand, I only describe the image that went through my mind when he was complaining about the last one he'd bought. 

So we had a good visit, and then went back to my mom's to pick up young master Blaze. He's been a bit of a fickle shit the last couple days. Last night we're blaming on heartburn.., or whatever the baby version is, from the pasta and tomato sauce he shovelled into his mouth for dinner. He just wasn't himself and didn't sleep particularly well. Tonight again, he's a bit whiney, but tonight is more the consequences of having him sleep with his mommy every night. The clock hits 9pm and suddenly it's "why is this long haired bearded hippy still holding me? I should be tucked into bed with my mommy and the stuffed monkey I've named George."

Cue the shrieking.

Jeannette could see it tonight I think, finally. Daddy's point was made for him by the fact that Blaze wasn't able to exist in a calm state for even a second while I was giving him his pre-bed bottle unless mommy was within sight. As soon as she got up to brush her teeth there was a squirming wild banshee in my lap screaming for my head in whatever gibberish constitutes his early communication skills.

Still, even armed with this knowledge, the way things are going, I don't know when we'll get this ship turned around for fairer waters. We're not just behind the 8 ball -with another one coming in less than two months!- the 8 ball is actually just sitting right on top of our house. 

No matter. I always was a pretty fair pool player.

Nite munks.