Day 449: Container full of Sludge
It's 10am and I'm already sitting down to write this thing. Jesus H. Murphy, I'm like a gladiator these days, except for my gut... and the fact that during my first workout in a couple of months yesterday I gassed after about fifteen minutes. Grim.
But lets not focus on the failures my little monkeys! Force the mind to focus on the positives, and then eventually, to f'off altogether as you quiet even the mind and learn to just walk around like a yogi -in a state of perpetual bliss... and flexibility. I have no idea if that's the goal of spiritual practice or not, it just seems to me to be what all the scriptures and teachers are getting at. A quieting of the monkey mind, but it's far too early to get into a discussion of that point I think.
I'm sitting here in flannel pyjamas having just eaten a blueberry bagel. Hardly the state required for such lofty discourse as that!
The house is very quiet right now. Jeannette had to go to the doctor to swallow a container full of a disgusting sugary drink so that they can test her for diabetes. She utterly hates this particular test and did her best to avoid it this time around, but our doctor pressed it when she offered up the option of her skipping this most horrid of all the pregnancy tests. Ever the dutiful patient, she acquiesced and so off she went this morning to pull a ticket off a device, sit in a chair for who knows how long, and then drink a large vial of sludge.
I have no doubt that a lot of women get gestational diabetes during pregnancy (hard to get it any other time I would think :) but there's something about the concern that seems rather alarmist to me. Jeannette is very healthy. She eats very well and generally has very few health problems at all.
She failed the test the last pregnancy and then had to take it again, drinking an even larger container full of the sewage they force down your gullet. It was such an unpleasant experience that she's been dreading this one for days. The test was all clear the second time around, because they told her that she should ease up on her sugar intake prior to taking it; a suggested cheat by the givers of the test, similar I suppose to having your math teacher slip you a calculator just before sitting down for your exam. Defies the whole point a little, does it not?
The reason she failed it the first time around was because of the amount of fruit she eats. Fruit contains sugar, you see, so when they did the test her sugars were higher than what the doctor said they should be -a sign of diabetes (if you look at nothing else but the numbers, which, more and more, people are only able to do -rather than wield their inherent and powerful function of common sense) So she took it again.
Here's a little assertion of faith from me to you, that I would happily debate pretty much anyone about, at any time... eating a lot of fruit isn't going to harm you or your baby.
There, I said it. And I feel so much better. Okay, let me add a caveat for my skeptical readers out there, the ones who, like me, enjoy throwing monkey wrenches into any assertion like this; I don't speak of rotten fruit, or fruit that you've dipped in a giant bowl of sugar, just before you plop it into your mouth. There, that should cover it.
The problem is that they lump everyone in the same tired group based on the eating and health habits of the many. For the majority of people no doubt a high sugar reading is a bad sign, as their diet consists mostly of that which you would find in the nest of a raccoon; various items that even when considered "fresh" are about as nutritious as they are after sitting in the garbage and sun for a good few days once your discarded them. Food with no value. Dead food. Processed food. Candy. Pizza. Chips and pop and all that nonsense (of which I also partake in occasionally... so you know... no judgement!)
That's what the whole medical field has become in my estimation, as I sit here, writing this -having thought very little about it prior to this- they're like a deep see trawling ship; incapable of even looking at individual fish anymore as they try to catch them, and instead just throwing a massive, ocean floor grinding net over the side of their ship that drags along the bottom of the sea scooping up everything at once, decimating the perfectly natural and symbiotic and harmonious environment all in one felled, well intentioned, medical swoop. It seems to me that this is the current state of medicine, though perhaps there are signs that the times are changing, as technology begins to allow for a much more personal approach to health and medical care.
Still, that doesn't help poor Jeannette, who is likely waiting in a line right now to down a tall glass of sweet, dirty, hospital gruel, so that she can be told something she already knows next week... that she's fine, and healthy, and all good.
Another thing we didn't bother with was the serum test, where they stick a long needle in your belly to check whether or not your baby has a risk of downs syndrome. Yeah... and?? So what? So what if the baby does show signs of being afflicted with an illness that makes them extra cuddly and less prone to becoming a corporate raider or heartless bank manager? Who are we to snuff out the life of a being based solely on what we perceive to be a 'flaw'?? It seems to me this is the source of most humanities woes, the dual desire to be in control and avoid pain and suffering.
There is but one way to avoid pain and suffering, and it is not through the extinguishment of life.
Blaze is at his grandmothers today, for the day, so no doubt when Jeannette does get home her and I will be gorging on sweat treats and fruit smoothies until we collapse on the floor and drool ourselves to sleep. She's been holding back from eating anything with sugar in it the last couple of days (within reason -no need to shock your pregnant system for a flawed medical practice) so likely she'll want to indulge a little. And rightly so in my opinion. Of course there's no reason for me to join her, busy as I've been the last couple of days, doing my best to rid the house of sweet treats -not for my own enjoyment you understand, but because I'm a supportive mate who wants to help his pregnant partner in any way he can. No reason for me to partake I say, but partake I will nevertheless!
And if that means eating half a bag of teddy grahams last night, while she was asleep upstairs with Blaze... well by gOd that's what I'll damn well do!
Have a good day munks.