Day 445: ...and the Blaze Ignites


Okay, agreed, it's a relatively late 9:15pm entry tonight, after a good solid and consistent week of early entries, but some days there's just nothing you can do. Today was one of those days. A day when you're fully on the clock, from sun up to sun down, engaged in family outings and community activities and general merriment.

Unless you're a uni-bomber type person, in which case you say no to these types of social engagements and activities, and spend ALL your time concocting nefarious plans for destruction and general chaos. Since I am not one of those types of people -though the poor excuse for a beard I'm currently letting fester on my face certainly doesn't help my case- and all my crazy concocting is for the betterment of myself, and thus, reflectively, mankind as a whole, I will attend parades and soccer games and barbecues and all other variations of social activities when asked and able, and consider myself a lucky person to get to do it. 

Also, I want to expose Blaze to all the things one gets to see when one exists at all, let alone in a relatively quiet and peaceable town, in a valley between two quasi mountains. I also quite firmly believe that the call to such outings and mini-adventures, whether by family member, friend, invitation in the mail, or spontaneous decision, gives your brain the continued nourishment it needs to delve into deeper and deeper areas of itself when you're not on the clock; not to mention the fact that if you're open to it, the things that happen around you while you're out galavanting can spark just the inspiration or clue or suggestion you didn't know you needed, to make the next leap in your work; whatever work it is you do. 

That didn't happen to me today, but I had a good time nonetheless!

Balance. That's the concept I suppose I'm preaching here. There must be balance in life, or things get unsettled. And when things are unsettled things have a way of starting to wobble, inertia takes over and before you know it your clothes and golf clubs are being thrown out the second story window of your house and the locksmith is finishing up with what used to be your front door. Thankfully I don't have any experiences like that in my own lifetime, staying relatively attentive to the needs of the people in my life, but I've seen people go down that dark selfish path enough times with acquaintances, family, and ABC after school specials to know it's a scenario one should do their utmost to avoid. 

Look at me, I'm already halfway through the entry and I haven't even told you anything about the day. 

So we woke up at 7:00am... kill me now ...and got ourselves ready to leave for my parents house at 8:30 so that we could be at the kids parade and get a good seat by 9am. See, now back before I was a father, in the days when I was merely a comedian and a bit of a shit head -truth be told- if I had to go anywhere at 8:30 in the am hours.. I would get out of bed at 8:15 or so. It takes no time to throw some water on your face, brush your teeth and throw on a pair of jeans and a shirt.

What can I say ladies, it just doesn't take much to make this look pretty..
(I'm staring blankly at the computer screen right now)

I've always liked my sleep, at some point in my life, preferring it to the monotony of being awake. Even if I was with someone and she had to get up to put all her stuff on for whatever the event in question.. whatever that stuff is, I have no idea what they get up to when they transform themselves in the bathroom every morning, these female creatures we share the planet with; with their lotions and makeup and towering heels.. and all the various creams and whatnot... did I mention the lotion??.. 

Well how the hell should I know what else they use?! I've happily slept through the process every time! Even if I was with someone they would just get up early than me and wake my ass up just when they started to panic about being late. That's all the time I need. If it's an audition.. five minutes earlier.  


Not so now, with a baby. Why? Because Jeannette is pregnant and he's getting heavy and if I want to eat one of the glorious breakfasts she makes, I have to feed him so she can make it. Not to mention the fact Hubble has to go out and do a thorough sweep of the long grass for as many ticks as he can add to his rotten collection, he's at 58 today if you're keeping track at home. It takes a lot to raise a baby, man. Especially when you go from no baby.. and not even a proper job.  

He's turning into a monster this kid. He's too much for just one of us. Look, I'm not a weak man. I joke a lot and all that, and am quite self deprecating most of the time, I've never been one to boast about physical achievements and skills, but I am more than capable as a physical organism, just so we're clear. I mean, between Jeannette and I, it wouldn't be a contest in any physical challenge whatsoever -except child birth, I WOULD NEVER CHALLENGE HER ON THAT {MAD RESPECT}... but let's be honest, with everything else, I would crush her. Pick a thing, it wouldn't be pretty. This is a fact I had to remind her of when I told her of my near inability to get a diaper on a piss and vinegar filled Blaze about an hour ago. He was in such a state it was nearly un-friggin-doable. It was like trying to put a wetsuit on a hairless cat in a hot tub full of butter. 

He's asserted himself today, as a human, this kid of mine. Whatever the natives used to call it when the person enters the body in youth, I think it happened today. He's figured out that if he doesn't want a thing he doesn't have to go along with it, just because the larger things that brought him into the world said so. Couple this sudden self-awareness with a strong body and squirmy disposition and you're in for a long ride. I had to toss him on the bed and wrestle the diaper on him as he was on all fours trying to launch himself toward the window blind. If this behaviour continues, and it wasn't just because he was overstimulated today; with the parade I didn't get a chance to get to, or the soccer game my nephew won 3-0, or the barbecue we had after.. I'm seriously considering just making him some kind of air tight diaper suit that you can just wrap around him like an emergency blanket every morning and then check every hour or so. Something breathable of course.. I'm not a monster. 


He's like a Tasmanian devil on cat nip. 

But while we were at lunch today with my parents as he sat in his high chair getting entertained by his mother and grandparents, and all the many stimulants in a busy restaurant, he suddenly turned, looked right at me, and said 'da-da'. My mother has already told the story about eight times today. He did it with understanding. 

Honestly, he would have had to shit directly on my forehead while I was trying to change him tonight to come even close to ruining that earlier event. 

...and the blaze ignites.