Day 439: Tentative Plan


I have a tentative plan. It occurred to me tonight, on a walk with Hubble; a walk free of ticks I should add, though an early one today had me taking two off his face. I also had two on me earlier when I mowed the lawn this evening. I broke the mower blade first time out of the season.


Hidden rock. That's what I get for blocking a suspicious looking entry way into the hill of my front yard with a big ass rock late last fall... and then not taking it out. The blade split the rock in half and bent itself all to hell. It was a rather jolting affair for me as well, the impact itself, and was quite obviously not a good thing for the mower right away. The mower shut off.. about five strips away from being done. 

Like getting left with a poor haircut, your barber collapsing just five minutes before finishing. 

The plan begins with a visit to go see a certain property. I just sent my cousin a text right now. He has not yet responded. There you go. How's that for making me wait? I text my realtor/cousin at 11:55pm on a Sunday and at 11:58pm he hasn't yet responded! Are you kidding me?? Shoddy work James Ivany at Exit Realty in Greenwood. What kind of a person doesn't get back to a family member who suddenly texts them out of nowhere on the one day everyone around here takes off, even God, I should add, with a ridiculous question.

He'll kill me for writing out his name and place of work of course, the next time I see him. Even though it's clearly in jest he'll say that people might read my blog with no context, no sense of humour, and might think I'm saying something negative about his character. It'll affect his google analytics! Whatever that means. He'll rant for hours. You'll see. 

So I'll look at a certain property then, if Jamie ever speaks to me again, shoot a little video at some point, and then send it off to some friends. That's it. That's the plan. That's it and that's all. And then they'll shoot videos and send them back to me, and I'll cut them all together and post it. And this process will go on and on until everyone on the planet has shot a video. If you believe in six degrees of separation, which I do, because it's a scientific fact -like Saskwatch and North Korea- then I expect I'll be seeing President Obama and the Holy Father Pope Francis shooting their own videos about six days after I sent out the first one.

I'm no mathematician but I'm pretty sure that's accurate. 

Oh that reminds me of our conversation last night at dinner, when we were lamenting the state of education in certain institutions, public schools and such, and society as a whole really, and how little respect the students show their teachers. My cousin's husband was telling me a math related story, about a student really and truly suffering with a pretty basic math problem, and then learning the kid was a fourth year business student. Yikes.

And the grammar. Oh the grammar. And spelling. Its like they don't teach it anymore. And they don't know how to do cursive, write or read it! -picture me shouting aloud right now, as I write this in my office, shaking my fist, like the old man I'm clearly becoming, and waking the baby. My mother pointed out a good point about not teaching cursive, and how it makes reading historical documents, like the the Charter of Rights, say; the original anyway, the equivalent of reading hieroglyphics.

It's hard to figure out what schools are doing these days, and why they don't seem to be adapting very quickly to the changing of the times. Or maybe it all starts at home. Ah, who can say. As I said, I'm only an expert on babies aged 8 month to just out.

Of course there's nothing to worry about. It's all part of the grand plan. But it's still a jolting feeling when you suddenly see the state of something, something you once knew well; like the education system you grew up with, and what was required of you, and also how you were required to act, and speak, to your teachers, when you see what it's like nowadays, and how it doesn't seem headed in a positive direction. 

Jolting I say. Like the idea I had earlier this evening When I went for my walk with Hubble. 

He's a good lad that Hubble. I was on a walk with him the last time I had an earth shattering experience, back in LA a couple years ago, when I woke up. Perhaps the dog is a deity of some kind then. You know? Some other culture's god. He's is Chinese, originally. Maybe if I took him there some guru would recognize him for the manifestation of the divine that he is, and then slap me for having him on a leash and shaving him naked. Anyway, he's a good dog at the least, and also, I'll admit now, perhaps a god of some kind. So fancy that. 

We had a good day today. We went to the 50th wedding anniversary of some relations of mine, other cousins, though obviously not in my generational age group, having been married a full 12 years more than I've been walking around this earth. They own a flower shop in town, have for YEARS and years. A married couple, owning a flower shop together, married 50 years. Perhaps it's the flowers. That must be such a hard environment to fight in. Imagine that? Fighting in a flower shop. That's the least testosterone inducing environment in the world. But what do I know? 

Anyway, congratulations to Hope and Richard. It was a great party, well emceed by another cousin of mine. She was very funny. And Blaze of course was a hit. He got to meet a lot more family, as did Jeannette, and it was a nice day to boot; if at times, hurricane winds. That seems to be the new norm around here, crazy winds. Probably a good time to be cutting down trees around the house, which, if my guy shows up, will be starting tomorrow. The situation is this, he said he'd be here monday, but he doesn't have a working chainsaw. I wasn't able to borrow my dad's because it needs mixed gas, which I don't have, but he'll be bringing it up sometime tomorrow as well. So we'll see what happens. As he doesn't have a phone, my french speaking woodsman, I will have no way of knowing when he's coming until Hubble explodes and starts barking his face off. 

He showed up at my cousins house last week at 7am. I don't see us getting a chainsaw until around noon. So it might be a long morning sitting across from a man with no phone who doesn't speak English. We have some movies I guess. Everyone loves Goonies right? That crosses cultural barriers. 

I'm screwed.