Day 92

Overall. Shit day.

I'm quite tired right now and had a pretty disappointing writing session. I'm not quite done but I'm dreading going back to it as I have no idea how to fix what I have down.

I know it's a first draft but it still has to have SOME direction.

I don't know. I'm running on very little energy right now. I spent the majority of the day putting a desk together and then hanging shelving units on the wall. I suppose that took a lot out of me.

Toward the end of the day Leon's brought our furniture for the basement and the couch didn't fit. We've been waiting a few weeks for the stuff, at least, and then after calling and being told it's been sitting at the store and then waiting another few days for it to be delivered it came and then went right back out the door again.

Jeannette was less than thrilled about the whole thing. We called Leon's and got our money back rather than go back there and pick something else. Not too happy with that place right now. Not their fault the couch didn't fit, but they'd annoyed us enough times leading up to this for us to do it again with someone else. We start the process all over again tomorrow and I refuse to wait another however many weeks to sit in may basement.

Did I mention they took a chunk out of our wall in the process? Classy operation.

Jeannette had to go in to the doctor today for more tests. She's in good shape overall but they did a gestational diabetes test where they make you drink a bottle of sugar glop, tell you to sit and do nothing for two hours, and then they take your blood to test your sugar levels.

Yeah, cause that mimics an actual thing you'd do in your life. If I had a dollar for every time Jeannette ran off into the woods, gorged on the honey comb of a beehive and then passed out where she lay for a few hours, I'd be a millionaire.

Anyway, her 'number' was just past the limit so she has to go through the whole thing again. Which, if you ask me, is balls. The test strikes me as stupid to be honest. The condition itself is serious, I understand that much. But all this girl eats is fruit and healthy stuff. Yes fruit is high in sugar, but there's a big difference between eating fruit and shoving boxes of donuts into your face every day.

But they get you with those diplomas on the wall, those fancy doctor types. They don't even give you the option of saying no to these things most times, it seems. They give you a form and say 'go do this,' so you do, because you want to be a responsible prospective parent. Even if deep down you're wondering about the efficacy of what it is you're doing.

She's fine. It's just a bit of a stressful thing, to have a doctor say there might be an issue when you're carrying your future in your gut meat. Which, as I've read, is one of the big drawbacks of doing this test in the first place. It's riddled with issues of false positives and generally just raises the stress levels of the pregnant woman in question.

If there's an issue, go get looked at. But what are we doing now, just going in and running tests before any warning signs pop up? I don't know. It's frustrating. And everyone has a different opinion it seems.

I have no desire to write anything right now. I'm not sure if you're picking up on that. None. I suppose it's good that this kind of mood strikes me less and less these days, but it's not much help while it's going down right now.

Three whammies today. Shit writing. No furniture. And annoyingly stressful baby news. Annoyingly stressful for all the reasons mentioned above. Stressful for Jeannette and annoying for me that she has to feel that way, potentially for no good reason whatsoever.

My sister did come out with the kids to check out the house tonight, which was fun. That would be my older sister. My younger sister and I don't speak anymore. Her baby daddy and I don't see eye to eye at any level at this point. He crossed a line and made no attempts to repair it. So that's it.

Shitty thing to have happen right when you move home after seventeen years, but events are not always in our control. If they ever are.

My eldest sister, the one who did come by, seemed to really like the place. As did my niece who hadn't yet seen it at all. She said she'd house sit any time we needed someone, which, if we go back to Vancouver any time soon, we might.

I guess we lost out to the Big Bang Theory at the Banff film and TV festival. Which makes sense. It's a very funny show that's been around a lot longer. But Package Deal season 2 is another after entirely and a much funnier show. We'll perhaps see the geeks again next year and see what's what.

I'm just filling time right now. Are you aware of that as you read this? I wonder. No one could ever tell when I was off my game on stage. I'd be halfway through a bit I'd done a million times before and thinking about something completely different. It didn't happen a lot, mind you, but it did happen. As it's happening right now.

My mind isn't wandering so much as just wanting to shut down altogether, but the effect is the same. A halfhearted entry after a halfhearted display of first draft writing.

Still, the work is getting done I suppose. Which at the end of the day should be all that matters. I'm just currently having a hard time selling that to myself at present.

Tomorrow is a new day, as they say and I'm hoping to get things back on track. Getting the basement squared away will certainly help. Though it's just another thing on a very long list of shit we have to do before we're settled.

I'll leave it at that for tonight I think.

I'll go force myself to write another page on the book before bed, knowing I'm going to have a long day Saturday of cleaning this chapter up no matter what I finish up writing tonight.

Writing a book is like running a marathon. A slow and steady pace wins the race.. as long as you know where the hell you're going in the first place.

/mp


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