This is going to be a tough entry. All I want to do is sleep. I’m groggy and a little cranky. I don’t like this guys. I don’t like being down and out. Most especially when I don’t really know for sure what caused it. Look, if you hit me in the head with a baseball bat, be it accidental or on purpose, I’ll gladly accept the recovery time.
“Hey you, what happened to your face? What are you doing laying down?”
And I’ll slowly relate to them the bat swinging incident in question and we’ll both understand why I’m laying down and everyone is fine with it. But with this? Nothing happened. All I can think I did was sleep for five minutes in a position that I’ve slept in a million times before.
Sure I also picked up my seven year old niece and helicoptered her around my head, flipping her over my back and dangling her by her feet. Yes I may have done tricep dips with her behind my back. Could that have led to this current pain? Perhaps. But I can’t say for sure because it’s not like I doubled over in pain just then.
My frustration comes from not knowing what I did to cause this more than the pain itself, which is rather severe. I’ve been in bed all day. It’s really no joke. The pain is quite debilitating at times. The first time it happened I was frozen on my knees in my underwear until my wife got home and helped get me to the hospital. I remember she tried to get me on my feet and got me to put a hand on the closet door for support. I had a spasm and nearly pulled the door off. I thought I was going to die that day. Then the doctor gave me a shot for the pain and I had a reaction to it.
That was a bad day.
This isn’t on par with that but I’m guessing it’s only because I now know to take this very seriously. I don’t just “push through the pain” with my back when it’s like this. If you recall that’s what I tried to do the last time it happened, just a month or so ago. I worked out a few days after tweaking it and really put it out.
So not this time. We had a lot of plans for today but I had to cancel. I feel like a schmup, but there’s nothing to be done. I just hope the chiropractor tomorrow can do something to alleviate the pain. Once I get that taken care of I’m going to have to start doing some kind of exercise that’ll strengthen the surrounding areas. I don’t know what I need exactly. Maybe yoga. Who knows. But something has to be done.
I don’t want this shit to be chronic. I don’t want to not be able to play hockey or be active. I know I’m probably overreacting and it’ll be fine, but it’s hard to not let your brain go to those dark places. It’s hard to see past the pain and gimp status when you’re right in the middle of it.
And we travel again on Tuesday. Gone for another three weeks. Yikes.
No idea when we’ll get settled. Even after the holidays things still could be up in the air if the show gets picked up. I’ve tried to stay as positive as possible about that but it’s getting a little ridiculous. Either way it’ll be fine. If it goes we’ll go back to Vancouver and I’ll get to play Ryan for another four months or so. And if it doesn’t we’ll be able to get settled even faster and I’ll continue writing at a fiendish pace. Both scenarios are pretty sweet so we’re in a good spot either way.
And to be honest, with how I’m feeling right now - which is groggy and cranky - I don’t really care either way. I just want an answer. We’ve been assured now that we’ll know the fate of the show this week. Apparently our numbers went down the last two weeks after a steady increase the three weeks prior to that. But who knows if that’s an indicator of anything. I don’t know how these decisions are made nor do I really want to. It’s a business decision and I’m far from a business man. I care about quality more than bottom lines. Always have. Which, I suppose, is why I’m on the other side of the camera; in fantasy land.
Sleep time now. Have a good night guys. - mp