Day 104 / Stabbed In The Back

If only I had a sword when he came for me.

My assailant somehow visited me again somewhere around 3 in the am. I don't know how he does it, the crafty bugger. He crept into the place I sleep without being seen or heard by anyone and stuck a blade in me just below my neck and to the left of my spine. I guess I sort of remember it happening if I'm honest, but I was just so tired that I kept sleeping and figured I'd deal with it in the morning. It's hardly the first time it's happened. 

 

He’s done it before, many times in fact, always randomly and when I least expect it. I know I'll never get up in time to do much in terms of retribution and that I'll just wake up sore and barely able to move the next day anyway. So what's the point of running around pounding my chest and waking everyone else up? 

 

It's just frustrating because though I get the feeling I'm being taught a lesson of some kind I have no idea what I did to piss him off to begin with. He just up and stabbed me one day, the night before one of the most important events of my life. And he has continued to do so at varying times ever since. 

 

I haven't seen it coming once. I have a sense he's not a particularly formidable foe physically, because he always attacks me in the night or early morning, when I'm too groggy to defend myself. But he's slick and always gets me with my back turned so I've never even seen his face.

 

A companion of mine gave me a powdered salve compressed into a tiny form that helps her with similar pain. I took that a while ago and it's helped considerably but I still can't do much in the way of anything productive. Other than write. Which is all I need to do today and for the next little while anyway so I guess it all works out quite well. 

 

The only concern now becomes the growing threat of the development of a particularly gigantic gut from the daily combination of good food and limited physical exertion. I've been down this road before. It always ends the same. With me draped over the side of a tree-side receptacle somewhere looking for discarded chicken and cold gravy with my teeth. So I'll have to be diligent.  

 

I will also seek the attention of a particularly skilled primate in these matters who has helped me recover from the untimely stab wounds in the past. I'll have to limit myself in my exertions tomorrow and then try to go see him in a couple days when he's back at it. He has a magical lazer ray device he puts on my back. It's hot and soothing and terrifying but it does the trick. Then when he has me nice and relaxed he'll snap my neck and send me home. 

 

I can't wait for a time when we have mastered ourselves to a point where we can go in and fix our own bodies. It seems to me and incredible mystery that we don't know what's going on inside ourselves at any given moment. Is it a focus issue? Are we some separate thing? Our body and then ourselves? Who we think we are and what we are in reality? What is the damage in my back right now and why can't I fix it if I just ate enough food and meditated on it for a while?

 

That would be a future worth striving for wouldn't it? A level of connection worth achieving. Wow. However we could get there would be ideal. Maybe not just meditation but also some kind of device put inside us that allows us to...

Well, it's a fun thought anyway. A time when if you became ill or injured all you had to do was order a pizza and spend a few hours letting your body repair itself? I might go try that now anyway just to see if it works. Worse case scenario I get to eat a pizza. 

 

Dammit! What did I just say about being diligent?

MP

 

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