Day 110 / This week was balls
First off, it was the week of the new blog setup and I floundered a bit. Kept writing. But what am I writing? I don't know. I'm not taking a lot of time with this. Moral is at an all time low over here kids. For the blog at least. Part of me once again considered quitting in favor of more time spent on the book. It feels quite meandering to me. Can't seem to figure out which direction to take it. But I think got a handle on my problem.
Structure. As always that's what it comes down to. I don't have the time, desire or expertise to make it a specialized blog, where I'm telling you how to fix your car or bake the very best short bread cookies. I have no expertise other than standup comedy and the world has enough of those, trust me, so I'll withhold any trade secrets on that topic thanks.
Which leaves me thinking categories. Movie reviews, animal news, opinion pieces, which I tend to do anyway. That way I don't have to begin each day wondering what the hell to talk about. Once I made the comparison to working out it made more sense. Not knowing what you're doing everyday you go to the gym isn't going to be very productive. You'll just throw some weights around, put out your back, and have all your friends concerned. But if you follow a pattern that works for you...
So that's what I need. A structure. A pattern. I've proven I can do it everyday. Now it's time to figure out what the hell to write about. I've said this before. So I already recognize more effort must be made to get organized.
It's been an interesting process so far though, I'll admit to that. Interesting how it's generally the times you'd least expect that test the resolve. Like tonight. I really, seriously, considered stopping. I made a lot of good, solid arguments to myself in support of shutting it down... to myself.
But I can't do it. Not yet. Maybe some day but not yet.
This is how my brain works. I do something until I lose interest and then move on to something else. So I'm going to try very hard to keep this going. And the best way to do that is make it fun again. So I'll try some categories and see if that doesn't do it. If not, I'll try something else.
To be fair, this week really was shit. I was nearly exiled from an entire country and had more to deal with there. Stressful despite my intention to move anyway. The book writing has been difficult as well, perhaps in part due to the above stuff. I've kept it up but it hasn't been overly productive the last little while. It's good though. This is when the writing is the most important. When you don't feel like it. Just keep chugging along until you have a calm day and just start pounding it out again.
Oh, and my back exploded.
So yeah, bit of a stressful week.
But big changes are also on the horizon and focus has been tough to come by. You can't shut out what's happening. Can't turn away from it. You just have to embrace it and move forward. Do what you can to get yourself in a place where you feel settled again.
Moving back to the northern forest will be good for that. Which will likely happen much sooner than anticipated. The exile got me thinking. The state of pretty much everything in this country seems quite ridiculous right now anyway. Seriously, what the hell is going on? I know this is behavior we've all come to expect from the higher primates - and again I mean only in terms of their placement on the trees and not in any form of superiority. To my mind you have to be a decidedly inferior creature to ever want to get into the game of politics - I know we're used to this from them but it's getting a little absurd. Even for them.
But really, what kind of sociopath wants to lead a large group of people anyway? Megalomania much? You'd have to drag me kicking and screaming into a job like that. And it's not the pressure. I'm good with that. It's just the nature of the gig itself. Corruption of self must be rampant.
So that's been an irritant for sure. As well as everything else. Wow, I just realized I had a pretty shitty week. On paper at least. But it hasn't felt that bad as I sat here writing about it. Perhaps I'm just getting better at shrugging things off.
I am looking forward to the weekend. Canadian thanksgiving with the girls on Sunday.
A turkey will be getting a tip of the hat.
Until tomorrow.. mp